A Very Camelot Thanksgiving
by writing-at-random
Summary: Arthur makes an annoucement to the kingdom about Thanksgiving, giving Merlin the idea to go and tell everyone how thankful he is for them, coming to realize that things aren't what they seem.  Crack fic. No slash!


**A/N: Well, today is Thanksgiving, and it's such a shame that Camelot doesn't have Thanksgiving because the food is delicious, so here is the story of A Very Camelot Thanksgiving!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

It was just a routine patrol out in the woods. It was just an ordinary day in Camelot. It _was_ just a classic case of Merlin saving his royal backside with magic… not that Arthur was going to tell his friend he already knew his secret or that he needed _any_ saving.

Why didn't he want to tell Merlin?

To tell Merlin he knew his secret would lead to a complicated conversation, and that complicated conversation would lead to apologies, thank you's, and awkward moments.

Now, however, it seemed that he was going to have to come clean. They were trapped. In a cave. _A bloody cave!_ And if Arthur didn't admit that he knew about Merlin's magic, they would both be stuck for who knows how long!

"It's hopless," Arthur said, very uncharacteristic for him to give up so easily, and Merlin noticed.

Trying to grin, he asked, "What's wrong?" But when Arthur didn't reply – only paying attention to the cave walls – Merlin pressed on. "We're going to make it out of here, Arthur."

The king held back a chuckle. "I know," he said simply, wanting to give the warlock a look of gratitude, but resisted because he certainly didn't want to look like he _cared_! Arthur sighed and looked at the mouth of a tunnel behind him. "I'm going to see if there is any way out. No, you stay here, Merlin," he insisted when his manservant started following him. "Now, when I return I want those fallen rocks to be cleared. Understood?"

Merlin's mouth fell open. "I can't lift all that rubble on my own!" he protested strongly.

"I know," Arthur said again and nodded with a slight smile. "I was hoping it would just… clear up on its own." Before Merlin had a chance to answer, the king walked down the dark tunnel, hoping no Wildren dwelled in the cave.

Suddenly, a giant boom of exploding rock filled the cave. A smile formed on Arthur's lips before he hightailed it back to where Merlin was, acting as worried as possible.

"_Mer_lin!" he shouted, knowing his friend was just fine. He attempted to be shocked when he saw that the fallen rock had indeed been cleared, a smiling Merlin standing off to the side with dust coating his black hair and clothes. "What happened?" Arthur asked, walking up to the warlock.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know. All the rock just sort of… collapsed."

Arthur patted him on the back as he stepped over the rubble and out into the forest with Merlin close at his heels. Taking in a deep breath, Arthur glanced back at his friend. "You did good, Merlin. I knew you could do it," he said casually.

The warlock's eyebrows came together in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about what you did back there." He gestured towards the cave behind them. Merlin continued to look unsure. "Look," he sighed. "I know, and you can tell me whenever you feel comfortable, but until then, I will continue to act oblivious."

As Arthur walked on, Merlin was frozen in place for a few moments before the extent of the king's words fully sunk in.

"Wait," the manservant shouted, catching up with Arthur. "You _know?_" he asked incredulously.

The king nodded once.

Merlin opened his mouth, but no sound came out. "But _how?_ When? Do you know how much sleep I've lost over thinking about how to tell you about my magic?" he asked in a frustrated rush.

Seeing the perfect opportunity to mess with Merlin, Arthur blinked rapidly. "Hold on. You have magic?" he asked. Merlin's eyes grew wide and shook his head vigorously, panicking on the inside. Arthur grinned at his nervous friend. "Calm down, Merlin," he chuckled. "I've known for a while. I'm not about to execute you."

For some reason, Merlin couldn't help himself. "Why?"

The king snorted. "Are you saying you _want_ me to execute you?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "No, but why are you being so calm about this? I always thought you would overreact and throw me in the dungeons. I prepared a speech and everything!"

Sighing, Arthur put a hand on the warlock's shoulder. "All right. Give me your speech."

"What?"

"Tell me you have magic and give me this brilliant speech of yours," Arthur said. "Then I will act accordingly, making this what the Fangirls might consider a 'cliché' moment."

Merlin cocked his head to the side. "Who are the Fangirls?"

Throwing a casual arm around the warlock's shoulder, the king started scanning the forest. "They're everywhere, Merlin. We could be being watched right at this very moment," he said, sounding as paranoid as Morgana.

"What are they?" Merlin asked, staring at the trees.

Arthur shook his head. "Obsessed, Merlin, they are obsessed." Taking in a deep breath, he slapped Merlin on the back and began walking again. "Let's get back to Camelot and eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and some sweet potatoes!" he smiled brightly.

Lifting an eyebrow, Merlin started walking as well. "And why do we need to eat turkey and stuffing?"

"Because, _Mer_lin," Arthur snapped, "this is a Thanksgiving story! Don't ask stupid questions!"

Sighing, Merlin rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, the Fangirls put you up to this?" But Arthur just ignored him and pressed on, heading back towards the kingdom.

When they reached Camelot, Arthur raced up to his balcony, eager to make an announcement. "People of Camelot! Whether you know it or not, today is a holiday." The people below in the square began muttering amongst themselves. "It's called Thanksgiving. Today, all day, you need to tell people what you're thankful for! That is all."

As the king came back into the room, he had a smile on his face. "Right now, I'm thankful for this bed. I'm going to sleep," he yawned. "Wake me up in two hours, would you Merlin?"

Before he could comment, Arthur was out like a light. Just then, two words entered into Merlin's mind: _Day off._

Happily, he skipped – in a manly, magical way – down to Gaius' chambers and walked in without knocking. "Gaius!" he chimed. "I'm thankful for all you've taught me, and for giving me that magic book the second day we met!" Without waiting for a response, Merlin walked right back out into the hallway, almost running into Leon.

"Whoa, Merlin," the knight chuckled.

"I'm thankful that you don't insult me like the other knights do, Leon," he said bluntly with a grin, and walked away without a look back. However, if Merlin had bothered to turn around, he would have seen a very flabbergasted Sir Leon wondering _What in the name of Camelot just happened?_

Without thinking, Merlin marched straight onto the training field and up to Elyan and Percival. "Hello," he greeted cheerfully. Both knights smiled warmly, about to return the greeting when Merlin interrupted. "I'm thankful you two are such good fighters because the other Knights of Camelot tend to die about every week, and I'd hate to see you guys added to the count."

And away he went; leaving two befuddled and bewildered men in the dust.

"Gwaine!" Merlin chimed as he entered the crowded tavern. The drunken knight turned around in his chair.

"Merlin, mate, have a dri–"

"I'm very thankful for you and the comic relief you bring," Merlin admitted, patting Gwaine on the back, and then walked off once more. Gwaine just shrugged and downed the rest of his ale.

Happily, Merlin ran to the kitchen where the cook greeted him with a threatening looking ladle. "I'm thankful that you keep the kitchen stocked with apples, otherwise we wouldn't be able to munch on them during dramatic scenes!"

The cook blinked a few times, not quite processing Merlin's words, but he didn't stay long enough for her to ask what he meant by that.

The warlock raced out of the castle gates and into the all-too familiar clearing. He looked up at the sky and called for the Great Dragon. Ten minutes later, he appeared, an annoyed look on the dragon's scaly face.

"What is it, Merlin? You do realize I'm trying to look after Athu–?"

Merlin grinned. "I'm thankful for helping me when I ask for it… and for letting me ride you a couple times!"

Kilgharrah narrowed his eyes. "What's all this about?"

The warlock shrugged. "It's Thanksgiving!"

"_Thanks_giving?" he lifted an eyebrow, and Merlin nodded. "Merlin, I'm afraid this is the work of Fangirls."

Laughing, he responded, "Yes, I know!"

"Careful, Merlin," the dragon cautioned standing up taller. "These Fangirls can interfere with yours and Arthur's destiny."

"How?" he asked not entirely believing the beast.

"Fangirls are dangerous creatures! They can control your mind, your lives, and your friendships!" he warned.

Merlin lifted an eyebrow. "In what way?"

The dragon shuttered outwardly. "Believe me, young warlock, you don't want to know what's in the minds of these girls."

Three hours later, after Arthur had been woken up and the food for the feast prepared, Merlin entered the Great Hall with Gaius at his side. The room was filled to the brim with peasants and nobles alike. On the long tables, twelve turkeys were placed in the middle, surrounded by delicious aromas and fabulous tasting foods.

Merlin strutted over to the table and grabbed a plate, using his fork to fill the dish with as much meat and dressings as possible. Once done, he inserted a piece of turkey into his mouth, chewing slowly and savoring the flavorful juices.

Suddenly, he stopped chewing and looked down at his plate. Acting very paranoid, he glanced up. _The Fangirls, they're making me eat this… They did this Thanksgiving to us…_

He dropped his plate to the floor and zoomed out of the Great Hall, back to Gaius' chambers. Quickly, he shut the door behind him after making sure he was completely by himself.

Merlin looked up to the ceiling.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted. "I've got enough to worry about, and I don't need to worry about you messing with Arthur's mind!" He collapsed in a chair, running a hand through his hair. "I'm going mad."

**A/N: And I'm thankful for everyone who will review! =D Hope y'all liked it! Happy Thanksgiving!**


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